SATIRE - Yesterday, the UK’s branch of Heinz, and American condiments company, released their latest product: canned spaghetti carbonara.
Heinz said, “We understand people are looking for convenient meals that are effortless to prepare.
“It’s the perfect solution for a quick and satisfying meal at home.”
The Italian government says this might be the worst solution to a problem ever proposed.
“Definitely top two,” clarified a government spokesperson.
The Ambassador of the United Kingdom to Italy was summoned to Palazzo Chigi at 3 a.m. Friday morning (Roman time), sources say.
The sources reported to Il Globo that the “heated” conversation lasted mere minutes, with temperatures reaching boiling point after the ambassador claimed he “seriously didn’t understand what the big deal is”.
He has since been expelled from Italy. The rest of his staff were executed by firing squad before sunrise.
Meanwhile, Italy’s Ambassador to the UK has been recalled to Rome as diplomatic relations between the two countries are officially frozen.
Italy’s Foreign Minister was informed of the canned spaghetti carbonara hitting shelves in the UK during peace talks between Israel and Hamas in Cairo, where he is in attendance.
“We were genuinely freaked out by how the Italians reacted,” said a member of the Hamas contingent.
“The stuff they were saying, it was extreme. Like, yikes.
“You can’t reason with people like that.”
The Italian Prime Minister is expected to address the growing crowd in Piazza Venezia later today, with many around Europe fearing she will declare war.
More to follow.
